Daddy, how are babies made?
by icyslumber
Summary: She is Granger's daughter, so the questions can be forgiven. But that inquisitive child sometimes takes it to the limit! Draco's been put in an uncomfortable situation! DHr. Please review!


**Hi!!**

**This is my lame attempt at humour oneshot. I'm sorry that it's not really funny, I just can't seem to right my humour down.**

**Anyway, enjoy. I'm not sure if this idea has been used before, probably has. So i want to say sorry if you think I've stolen your idea, I honestly didn't mean too.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own HP. Or Draco aaahh:). Just Anne.**

**Rated for slight adult references, near the end.**

**It is kind of Draco's POV but then again its not. I got mixed up between the third person and first person, I do that often.**

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'Why is the sky blue?"

"Mummy, why do we only have five toes?"

"Dad, why do we have appendixes if they're not used?"

"Mum, is it true that the coccyx was our tails before more evolution occurred?"

"What does this arsehole mean, Daddy? I heard you say it behind Uncle Ron's back."

He understood the need to ask the questions, she was Granger's kid after all. Didn't inherit it from his side of the family, the Malfoy's had perfect children. Who only spoke when spoken to and were always seen and never heard. Except for this little girl, the muggle genes interfered with his disciplined Malfoy ones.

And he loved her to pieces.

She was a small bundle of, five year old, joy. Who had inherited most of her mother's features from the brown hair (which, thankfully, was not bushy. Draco's genes neutralised it!), to the big brown eyes, the cute button nose and a huge brain, which would've given Hermione a run for her money when she was her age!

Though she may have her mother's intelligence and all her beautiful features, she had Draco Malfoy's everything else.

It was a common point of discussion (argument) at their dinner table. Hermione was convinced that her little 'cherub' would end up in Gryffindor. But Draco knew little Adrianne Malfoy better, if she didn't end up in Ravenclaw she would sure as hell end up in Slytherin. (Not even the wimpiest Malfoy would ever end up in Hufflepuff though, Gryffindor was on the list too, until he married one of them.)

That brain didn't just ask pointless questions ,which would give Draco's ego a much deserved thrashing as he was outsmarted by his own daughter, but it could think up the most foulest and evilest schemes, which Draco was only an assistant helper in. Her current scheme was, 'How to sneak a chocolate bar out of the box which Mum kept all sweets in on the highest shelf of the kitchen'.

Draco almost, _almost, _cried at the sight of his daughter, chocolate bar in her small, pudgy fingers, smirking to the world.

It was the happiest moment of his life when his daughter had given him her first smirk. Right after she threw up all over him. Happy, yet stinky and disgusting, memories.

He did truly love his _Slytherin _daughter_._

Until today.

It is every parent's worst nightmare when their kid asks _that_ question.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Huh?"

Great Draco. _Real_ smooth.

_"Where do babies come from?"_

Where the hell is Granger, when you need her!

Damn it!

"Well, honey, you're such a smart kid, shouldn't you know the answer by now?"

"I do. I asked mum and she told me."

"You know the answer, so there's no need to ask the question."

"I just want to know your answer, so I can match it to mummy's. One of you might be lying to me."

Damn! Truly Slytherin-like mind. Snape would be so proud.

"Well...a hippogriff comes and delivers babies to our doors, we called the Hippogriff Baby Service Hot-line, to get you Anne," he said as he picked her up and placed her on his lap, hoping Hermione had said the same thing but knew she would've had a better excuse.

"That's not what mummy told me! She said something about storks!"

Storks!

"Stupid muggle inventions!" he muttered under his breath, angrily.

"What was that, Draco?" Hermione asked, pretending to look innocent, as she sauntered into the room.

"Nothing dear," he said, gritting his teeth together. "Anne was just asking me where babies come from."

"Really."

She was _smirking_ at _him_.

There was something really wrong in that moment.

"Yes."

"So...what did you say Draco?"

Anne piped up, "He said you called the Hippogriff Baby Service Hot-line."

Draco gave his daughter a mini-glare, as he watched Hermione trying to control her laughter.

"I think you're both lying to me," Anne said seriously.

"Why do you think that, dear?" Hermione asked in an amused tone.

"Because, point one; where do storks (or hippogriffs) find human babies, and point two; our neighbour is pregnant and I kept on look out for storks (or hippogriffs) migrating here and didn't see any, and point three; you said you carried me inside you for nine months, the stork (or hippogriff) would've had to perform extensive surgery to get that baby inside of you and, point four..."

"Okay, we get the point," Draco interrupted, as he took her off his lap.

"So where so babies _really_ come from?"

"Inside of your mummy," he went and put an arm around Hermione, who smiled up at him.

"How did they get there?"

"That's part of another question."

"Which is...," she prompted.

"How are babies made," he said smugly.

Then realised his mistake.

"How are babies made?" the curious child asked.

Damn!

"Umm...," Hermione stuttered.

Well, this was a first.

Hermione Granger was lost for words.

No, wait!

There were other times when she was lost for words.

And those times were only in the throes of passion.

Including the time they made the little girl who was staring at her father oddly.

"Daddy, why are you grinning like that?"

Funnily enough, he had answered his daughter's question in his overactive imagination.

Damn, now he was horny and aroused!

Hermione sensing her husband's discomfort, jumped to his rescue.

"Anne, isn't it time you went to bed."

As she got off the sofa and started waddling towards the door, with her mother following, she turned and said, "I know how babies are made, in one of mummy's healing books I read about it. The man and the woman join together, don't they?"

All her parents could do was stare at her incredulously, and watch as she waddled towards her room.

After getting Anne tucked in bed, Hermione went into the master bedroom and shut the door behind her.

She was spun into her husband's arms and she shivered as he whispered into her ear, "That kid is too smart for her own good Granger, reminds me a lot of you."

"Don't forget , she is my child," she said proudly."If we had another child I wonder if they would be the same."

Draco smirked, "I think we should 'join together' and find out."

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**So, what do you think??**

**Review, please!! Tell me what you think!! **

**I love u all!!**

**Don't forget to review!**

**:)**


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